The Camping Trip
by rauka
Summary: The Marauders are still in school, and are bored over vacation. Chaos breaks loose. First in series about their mischief.


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The Camping Trip

Sirius, James, Remus and Peter had a spring holiday from Hogwarts in their 7th year. They decided to spend it in a Muggle pastime with their lady-friends. 

"Camping. We are going camping, in the Forbidden Forest, with Muggle supplies, and 3 girls. YOU'RE BONKERS!!" exclaimed Remus incredulously. He, Sirius and Peter were dragging in massive suitcases, stuffed with such necessities such as Dung-bombs, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, Pepper Imps, and Gobstones. Peter, in particular, seemed to have decided that his teddy bear came under the title of "Necessities". They dropped them in the middle of the Gryffindor common room.

" I thought I told you to pack lightly," James said from the middle of a large plaid pouf by the fireplace. He had a suitcase, a clipboard, and a very cross expression on his face. " AND I'M NOT BONKERS!!" Lack of sleep made James very cranky. He had been sitting up late, trying to think of something to do on the holiday. Camping, in the Forbidden Forest, had seemed a very good idea at 2:00 in the morning. He had been through this many times before.

" Well, _I_ packed necessities for camping, and my teddy bear and all my blankie's pieces were a necessity," said Peter firmly. Remus stifled a snicker.

" Tell me again why we're doing this, James," Sirius said gloomily from on top of his suitcase. A foul smell from within meant that some of his Dung-Bombs had burst.

" Yes, do tell us, James," said Remus in a choked voice. The smell of Dung-Bombs had reached him.

" _Because,_ if you don't come, you'll be stuck indoors with Minerva preaching at us to help her transfigure a barrel of toads! Also, she'll be after us to help her with research in the library about that stupid Transfiguration History degree!" James said even more grumpily. _So _grumpily, that Peter looked up in surprise.

" What's wrong, James? Minerva's Transfiguration Obsession degree doesn't bother you this much, normally," he said, with a worried look on his round face. 

" Yeah, James," Sirius said sardonically. " Hormones bothering you again?" James looked surprised at the question.

" Maybe," he said slowly. " Maybe it is hormones. The problem is, Lily hasn't replied to my letter for her to come on the camping trip. And, her friends say that she's busy every time I try to talk to her! It's like she's avoiding me, and I don't know why. I like being her friend." This last drew a snicker from all and sundry, and a muttered "You like her better than a friend" from Remus. James heard, and, blushing furiously, threw a pillow at Remus, who threw it back, but Sirius got hit instead, and… a pillow fight insued. At last, they stopped, panting, with the common room strewn from top to bottom with soft projectiles. 

" Well, thanks for cheering me up!" James said, laughing at the funny scene of Peter with his head stuck in a burst pillow, with Sirius and Remus, both with a chronic case of _Hystericus laughterus_, trying to pull him out. James was in danger of catching the extremely contagious malady when in walked Minerva McGonagall, her arms full of books, and a disapproving expression on her face. _That_ cured their symptoms.

" What _have_ you been doing? Honestly you four, you're like a couple of kids! Always playing… why don't you come help me research all the different things that can be Transfigured?"

" Actually, Minerva, we were working hard at packing for a camping trip to the Forbidden Forest," Sirius said hastily.

" A camping trip? Now, of all times? You should be helping me-"

" We will be practicing our Transfiguration skills," Peter said serenely, although the pillowcase muffled his voice. Minerva's eyes widened, and she immediately became docile.

" Oooh, I won't keep you from your important work," she said seriously, and went upstairs. The quartet nobly refrained from laughing until she was in her dormitory, but as soon as the door closed, every one of them broke out in a severe case of _Hystericus laughterus_, more commonly known as "the giggles". 

" 'We will be practicing our Transfiguration skills'?" James sniggered. "What will we be Transfiguring, pine needles into matches?" 

" At least it got her to shut up, since we were kept from our 'important work'," Peter said defensively. 

At last, the malady passed, and they applied themselves seriously to the task of getting the camping trip ready. This involved much running up and down stairs with various packages, shouting at each other to bring down the various packages, and James bellowing out orders from his clipboard. At last, everything was into 4 large packs, and James was checking off all the items on his clipboard.

" Bag 1: Peter's. It should have his own things, a tent, and half of the food. Bag 2: Remus's. Personal items, other tent, rest of food. Bag 3: Sirius's. Personal items, everyone's spare wands, games, and tarps. Bag 4: mine. My stuff, and miscellaneous items that wouldn't fit in certain people's overstuffed suitcases." This last got a laugh, for every single pack was bursting. 

" Well, if we're ready, let's get this over with," said Peter. They took out their wands, and soon 4 packs were floating in the air behind the quartet. Putting on cloaks, the four trooped down to the entrance, ignoring how much of a spectacle they were making of themselves. Once they were outside, three figures down by the lake detached themselves from the trees, and came forward. There was Lily, Willow and Luna, each with a floating suitcase behind them, too. Peter snickered at the ecstatic look on James' face when he saw Lily with a large pine-green suitcase floating behind her. When she saw James, her face lit up, and she hurried over.

" James, I'm so sorry I forgot to send back a reply to your letter," she said sincerely. " I was working on my Herbology degree, and I told the girls-" she waved her hand at Willow and Luna, who were coyly flirting with Sirius and Remus, while the boys preened right back "-to scare off anyone who wanted to talk to me. But, I do love camping, and I would have sent a reply if I weren't in the library 24-7." James heaved a sigh of relief, and grinned. So did Lily.

" So, you're not mad at me for forgetfulness?" she said.

" I could never be mad at you," James said quietly. But Sirius heard, and immediately began to tease his friend.

" Of COURSE you'll never get mad at her, James, you feel so DEEPLY about her that ANGER would never occur to you, of course," he said.

" _SIRIUS!!!_" James exclaimed, going rather pink in the face. " You _weren't_ supposed to _tell_!!" 

" Of COURSE I wasn't, that's the point!"

" Can we get a move on, please?" said Peter. " We _might_ want to set up camp before sundown." At his words, James pulled his clipboard out of his pocket, and delegated Peter the Honourary Neutral Person, to make sure nobody got up to anything with anybody else. It was a good thing he did. Lily, Willow and Luna were exceptionally pretty. Willow was a tall, slender girl with short, glossy black hair and silver eyes. Luna was medium height and weight, with hazel eyes and medium-length blonde hair. Lily was medium-tall, slender, with red hair and green eyes. Sirius and Willow went off to find firewood, James and Lily went off to get water from a stream, Remus and Luna went off to find a good campsite, and Peter ran around, making sure no one got up to something.

Peter snuck up on Sirius and Willow, in a grove of pine trees. They were talking earnestly as they gathered wood.

" Willow?" Sirius said tentatively, getting a large log of firewood so he could hide his red face. "I've never met anyone like you before."

" Here, let me help you with that log," she replied, evading his comment. Sirius moved over so she could help him, and they reached for the same place on the log to lift. Their hands met. So did their eyes, then she looked away.

" I've never met anyone like you, too." Peter, who was right behind Willow, had an idea. He got very close, and pushed her. Sirius caught her, as she fell into his arms, but tripped, and they fell down into a pile of leaves. Sirius came up sputtering on pine needles, still holding Willow. Peter took a picture from a portable camera in his cloak that he'd secretly brought, of Willow on top of Sirius.

" Willow! Are you okay?" he said anxiously. She hadn't said anything other than a squeak when she fell into his arms.

" I'm fine," she said, her voice muffled in his shoulder. She slowly turned her head, so she was talking into his neck. " Ow! Wait, no, I'm not. My ankle _hurts_!!" She and Sirius tried to get up, but she stumbled, and Sirius had to grab her robes to keep her from falling. "I don't think I can walk, Sirius."

" That's okay, you can hop, or…"

" Or what, Sirius?"

" Or, I can carry you. I know I'm strong enough, I've carried James before when I rescued him from the Viking Queen Smeldergrof."

" Umm-"

" Never mind. Do you want to hop?"

" Noooo."

" Then I'll carry you. Hold still, please." Sirius leaned down, and with a very red face, picked her up. Her feet were dangling down one arm, and her head was on another arm. Sirius began screaming to his friends to find where they were. Then, Peter snuck away. His next job was watching Remus and Luna.

Remus and Luna were currently having trouble setting up the tent. The perverse thing kept collapsing right when they were almost finished. This happened about five times, in which Remus and Luna got thoroughly annoyed.

" Look, let's just use magic to get the stupid thing up," Luna said irritably, pushing a strand of blonde hair out of her face. Remus privately agreed. They pulled out their wands.

" _Levi-urggh_!" Peter had snuck up and pulled Remus's robes. This caused them to say the wrong incantation. With a loud snap, the tent began to fold itself up- with Remus and Luna inside.

" Accck!" said Remus as he fought his way up out of strong canvas. A lump beside him moaned slightly, and fighting his way through the (still folding up) canvas, he grabbed one of the figure's limbs. Dragging Luna out of the canvas, he noticed that the tent was folding around her head and throat, choking her. He pulled it off, but she was still turning blue. He didn't know what to do, until a not unpleasant idea occurred to him. Peter, behind some handy bushes, saw his train of thought on his face, and grinned. Quickly whipping out his camera, he took a picture of Remus giving mouth-to-mouth to Luna, then ran off to find James and Lily.

James and Lily were getting water from a stream nearby. They were making small talk about her Herbology degree.

" So, Lily, what exactly are you specializing in for Herbology?" James said somewhat awkwardly as they set buckets of water down on the bank.

" Well, I'm specializing in Muggle herbs and dangerous plants," she replied, bending over as she set down her bucket. Peter, hidden behind some bushes directly behind her, gave a push, and she fell in the river. James tried to help her out, but he tripped and fell in, too. James gasped from the cold water, and Lily sputtered, with her long hair all over her face.

James quickly pulled Lily up onto the bank, and jumped up as well. She didn't say anything, but just started squeezing the water out of his and her clothes. Then she spoke.

" We'd better find the others, it's getting cold," she whispered, and she was shivering with cold. James hadn't gotten too wet, so he tentatively put an arm around her shoulders. She didn't pull away. James noticing her still shivering, and took off his shirt, which was dry, and draped it over her shoulders. Peter took a picture of James, with his shirt off and his arm around Lily's shoulders.

" Come on," he said. " Let's go find the others." Peter heard this, and by making noise, he lured them over to the clearing where Remus and Luna were, er, lip-locked. Then, he snuck away to find the others. 

James and Lily stumbled into the clearing, and saw what looked like a deep kiss between Remus and Luna. Luna was on the ground, and Remus was kneeling beside her. James's jaw dropped. 

" Remus Lupin, _what are you DOING?!"_ he said incredulously. Remus popped up, fire engine red.

" She was breathing- I mean she wasn't choking- I mean, she was being strangled, by the tent," he babbled. Lily raised an eyebrow, and James unsuccessfully tried to do the same.

" There you are, people!" Sirius had just strode into the clearing in time to hear the question. Everyone stared at him. " Why are you staring at me?" He looked down. " Oh." Willow, worn out from the pain of her foot, had fallen asleep while he had been carrying her. Sirius, very red, laid her down carefully on the tent canvas, which had finally stopped folding itself up. Luna had revived enough to sit, and Remus supported her with his arms. She was still weak, he said. Everyone else knew better. James finally blushed because of his missing shirt and his arm around Lily's shoulders, and so did Lily. They got dried off, Remus got the tent finally up, and put up Peter's tent, too. Sirius woke Willow up, and examined the ankle. He shoe had fallen off when she had fallen, so that was all right, but her foot was badly sprained.

" Well, Willow, you'll have a nasty bruise, and I'll have to splint it." Sirius gently touched the already purpling foot, but when he looked up, Sirius forgot what he was going to say. Remus had started a campfire with his wand, and Willow's face looked very pained in the flickering light.

" Sirius?"

" Oh! Right! Here." He pulled out his wand. "_Splintos!_" A splint was bound tightly to her foot, securing it tightly. Willow tentatively put her weight on it, and smiled.

" Thanks so much," she said sincerely. 

While Sirius was "doctoring" Willow, James had plunked Lily down by the fire, and bundled her up in blankets until he couldn't see her if his life depended on it. It didn't, but his feelings did. He was actually able to take 2 breaths in a row when he couldn't see her. Then, he got out a kettle, and, fumbling a lot, made some tea. James poured 2 mugs of it without splashing himself too much, and brought one over to the human-sized blanket-covered potato thing that was Lily. She stuck out a hand, and took the mug. She then took off the blankets covering her head, and sipped.

"Delicious." She smiled, and James forced his heart to start working again. 

" Thanks. If you need anything, just yell." She nodded, and James dragged himself away from her smiling green eyes. 

While James was having heart failure, Remus and Luna were being excessively mushy, while Peter watched in interest.

" Thank you-for saving my life," Luna said quietly.

" That's all right," Remus said too eagerly. " Any time, any time at all." He wiggled his eyebrows, and Luna giggled. 

" _Any _time?" she said suggestively. 

" Not now," he said. " Peter's watching. We don't want him to see the fun." Remus helped her to her feet. " Let's go eat." They wandered over to the fire, Peter in close attendance in case anything mushy happened. 

James, Remus and Sirius had laid out the food on 7 plates.

" Well, James, when will you be announcing your engagement?" Sirius asked mock-innocently.

" _Shut up_!" James said, reddening, as he looked in front of him to where the potato thing of blankets, that was Lily, sat. " She can hear you!"

" That's the POINT!!"

" DINNER TIME!!" said Remus in a tone that brooked no argument. Sirius took the hint and put a sock in it. Everyone got their plates and sat down: Sirius with Willow, Remus and Luna, James and Lily, and Peter situated so he could watch everyone. It was a long time before anyone spoke, as they were tucking into the hearty dinner. Once they were finished, James handed round marshmallows, and the group toasted them over the fire on their wands.

" Remus, isn't it kind of odd?" Peter said after a while. " Luna's name has to do with the moon, and you just happen to be…"

" Shut _up_, Peter," Sirius said around a large marshmallow, on which he had clamped his teeth down on so it didn't come out of his mouth. " You're going to ruin his social life. Among other things." There was an uncomfortable silence. Then James, with false heartiness, began to sing, " The Rooster Song." Everyone covered their ears in disgust, except Lily, and Sirius, who began to sing along. 

" Sing something else! Anything else!" Remus shouted.

" Kum-bay-a - my lord!" James bellowed.

" Except that!"

" Black socks-"

" And that."

" Jingle Bells-"

"_And _that."

" Don't be such a party pooper, Remus," Sirius said in the middle of bellowing out the chorus to " Carnival". " Join in the fun! You, too, Peter." Reluctantly, they began to sing, and so did Willow and Luna. Soon they were having an impromptu terrible song competition. Remus won with his rendition of " Tarzan". Soon, the three girls retired into their tent, and the boys were left to themselves. 

" Sirius? Did you tell the girls about Smeldergrof?" Peter asked.

" Noooo- wellllll-sort of."

" Grrrr!" 

" Ugly ghouls go grrr!" said Remus. 

" Grrr!"

" What's it like being an ugly ghoul, Peter?" James wanted to know. 

"GGGGRRRRRRRR!! But, I'll get my revenge. I have pictures! MUAHAHAHA!!!"

" Pictures? Of _what_," said Remus slowly.

" Stuff you don't want pictures of. Pictures that move."

" Give me the pictures. Please." said James.

" No.

" NOW!!" He snatched the pictures, and looked at what was on them.

" GGRRRRR!!" Remus and Sirius glanced at the pictures, too.

" _PETER_!!!! GGGGRRRRRR!!"

" Only ugly ghouls go grr," said Peter mischievously.

" GGGRRRRR!!" With that, they began to chase Peter around the campsite, shrieking like angry cockatiels. It woke the girls up, and they poked their heads out of their tent, with inquiries as to the noise. The boys froze in mid-screech.

" We're fine, go back to bed." But the girls had seen the photos.

" Peter. You took these, didn't you," the girls said sternly. Then, they laughed. " Can we have the ones with us in them, and the camera, pleaaase?"

" Uh, sure," said Peter in surprise. The girls picked them up, and stuck their heads back inside. The boys began to chase Peter again, until the girls' heads came back.

" Do you always act like this when we're not here?" they inquired.

" Er, well, sort of, not really, well yes," they said. 

" We wondered. This has to do with the Viking Queen Smeldergrof, who's Peter, doesn't it?"

" Who told you?" Peter demanded. 

" Oh, we know a spell or two that told us," they said. " It's called the Busybody Spell. Good-night." They stuck their heads back in.

" Have a good night," said Remus, who was frozen near the door. A hand, Luna's by the bracelet, reached out, grabbed Remus's shirt, and dragged him inside. Peter started to get up, but James stopped him.

" Leave him alone, he hasn't a good social life since… never mind. Plus, he's _17_! He doesn't need supervision." James yawned. " Let's go to sleep. Remus isn't coming back anytime soon." Everyone snickered, and the boys trooped into their tent.

***

Sirius and Peter woke up at about 10:00. They frowzily got dressed, and went outside, wondering where James was. Remus was cooking some bacon over a frying pan, and he looked up, frowning. 

" Where's James?" he said.

" Good _morning_, Remus," Sirius said pointedly. " I don't know where James is. He was there when we went to sleep, while you were having some _intense_ fun." Just then the girls came out.

" Have you seen Lily? She was here when Remus –er- came to visit," said Willow.

" Shut up, Willow," Remus said, blushing. " Wait, I hear splashing. Let's go see." They moved off toward the sound, when Peter stopped them.

" Look, there's something floating downstream. It looks like…"

" Remus, do you see what I see? Is that _frilly underwear_?" said Luna.

" Let's look at this logically," said Remus. " James and Lily are missing, there are splashing noises in the stream, and there is frilly underwear floating in the stream. I think we know where this leads to."

" Yes, we do," Luna said meaningfully, batting her eyelashes at Remus. 

" Hey, Luna, got something in your eye?" said Willow.

" Shut up, Willow. Let's go investigate the noises." The group moved off downstream, until they got to a clearing where 2 piles of clothes were on the bank. 2 wet heads popped up out of the water.

" How's the water, lovebirds?" Sirius said meaningfully.

" Sirius, we were _swimming_. Sort of." 

" You're really bad at lying, James," said Remus.

" Why, James, I didn't think you were that kind of guy!" said Sirius.

" _Shut up, Sirius_!" James said through clenched teeth. 

" I didn't know you wore frilly underwear, James!" said Sirius.

" I'm _serious_, Sirius!" James heaved himself out of the water, proving that he was wearing only swimming trunks.

" At least you're both wearing something!" said Remus.

" I really wouldn't be talking, Mr. 'Good-night'," growled James. 

" Yeah, I _really _wouldn't," said Lily, climbing out of the stream. " We had Peter's camera, _remember_?" 

" Uh-oh," said James.

" Uh-oh is right. Here's one of the pictures." It had obviously been taken from the boys' tent flap. It showed Sirius, Peter and James asleep. Peter had his teddy bear, James was clutching a pillow to himself, and Sirius was snoring uproariously. 

" You were talking in your sleep, James," said Luna.

" I was? Do I want to know what I was saying?"

" Um, no."

" Just tell me!"

" You'll have to catch us first! Sirius and Remus were talking in their sleep, too, by the way." They ran off. Sirius, James and Remus gave chase, while Peter followed behind, panting. James and Remus caught Lily and Luna, and they told them what they said.

" James was mumbling my name," said Lily.

" And Remus was mumbling mine," said Luna. The boys had a major blush time. Meanwhile, Sirius was still chasing Willow around. Finally, he caught her, and kissed her. She looked astonished.

" It was an accident," he protested. " James pushed me," he looked around and saw James on the other side of the camp, " well, maybe not. But, first it was Remus and Luna, then James and Lily, and I was getting a little lonely.

" Come here," she said, and she beckoned. She looked very serious as he came forward, until she pulled him behind a very large tree.

" Somehow I knew it would end up like this," James said.

" I wouldn't be talking, Mr. Frilly Underwear," said Sirius from behind the tree. 

" We were just swimming, Sirius," cried James.

" You're very bad at lying, James," said Remus again.

" _I_ wouldn't be talking, Mr. Have-A-Good-Night," said James, turning _very_ red. 

" Quiet, James. Let's just have breakfast, and wait until Sirius and Willow decide to come back."

" GGGRRRR," said 2 voices from behind the tree, and everybody laughed. Remus served up the bacon, and soon the campsite resonated with sounds of munching. Sirius and Willow came out from behind their tree after a while, looking slightly disheveled, and sat down with 2 very large plates of bacon. Once they had finished sating _that_ appetite as well as the one behind the tree, the other couples teased them unmercifully, while they teased right back. It was an altogether pleasant time, with the three couples running back and forth, throwing insults at one another while they cleaned up and packed up their belongings. 

" Hey, I know!" James said suddenly, when everything had been packed up, and they were heading up to the castle, with Peter trailing behind with his belongings in his suitcase. " Let's have another song contest! Kum-bay-a, my lord-"

" Oh no, not again!" said the girls, as the other boys began to sing along, too. With the girls holding their ears shut, and the boys bellowing out the lyrics to "Kumbaya", they went up the hill to the castle, a merry group of carefree couples, and one gooseberry, who were having the time of their lives. As they shut the castle door behind them, the song ended in a long laugh all round.

****

The End. 


End file.
